Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics,
these are some questions people the world over are asking! Believe  it or
not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism
Website. Obviously the answers are a joke but the questions were really
asked.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown  and then just sit around and watch
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto can I  follow the Railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four  thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around  in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and  addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. ( Italy )
A:  Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines)  in Canada ? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto, Vancouver,
Edmonton  and Halifax ? ( England )
A: What did your  last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about  hippo racing in Canada ?
(USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle  shaped continent south of Europe .
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North.
oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary.
Come naked.

Q:  Which direction is North in Canada  ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England  )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send  me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that  quaint little country bordering  Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it.  Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir
plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the
hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you  have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, we don't stink.

Q:  I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of  Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population?  ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q:  Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan  hunter/gathers. Milk is
illegal.

Q: I have a question about a  famous animal in Canada , but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent. They roam the
city streets eating the brains of anyone walking close
to them. Spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking
will scare them off.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most  places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it  first.

Source: Mimi